WEAPONS TO FIGHT YOUR INNER CRITICS
I'm thrilled to contribute to the 'Price of Business', a renowned radio show and news platform, through both blogging and vlogging. My segment, 'Achieving Your Goals', graces the airwaves once a month and also features in numerous newspapers nationwide. The core of my content? Taming that pesky inner critic. I share insightful strategies to silence self-doubt, unlocking your full potential in both your professional and personal life. critics belong to grown folk, so learning to master your inner critic may be a new task for you.
Here's a sample of my blog contributions to The Price of Business, along with links to the published articles. You can find my video blogs on my 'As Heard On' page. Thanks.
In my last blog, She Who Controls Her Inner Critic, Rules Her Future, I identified the voice that nags us all, called the inner critic. It is the whisper that constantly tells you what you're not and what you cannot achieve. I defined it through psychological terms and encouraged you to recognize and balance its influence. Unfortunately, most of your inner critic’s words are not true. Here I will offer you a path to quiet your inner critic. The weaponry offered here is easy to use but requires real commitment and discipline.
When Did Your Inner Critic Start?
The noise in your head from the inner critic is constant. It eats away your self-confidence, even in your most glorious moments. It plays back every mistake you have ever made and runs a videotape of every job you did not get or the love you lost. The noise began when you were a child or in your teens. Therefore, it is imperative that you identify where it first started. Who was it that caused the first self-doubt? What was the first incident that shook your confidence to its core?
You have first to quiet the noise to silence your inner critic. You must learn to be silent enough to dive deep into years gone by. Then, be brave enough to weather the storm to relive the incident and grab ahold of it. It will always be important for you to know your age at that time and the details of the situation. You cannot heal and address something you are unable to face.
When Your Inner Critic Is Talking
In the years that I have been coaching and in my quest to recognize and quiet the inner critic, I know that it is nearly impossible to know when you are talking or when the inner critic is talking. The inner critic's voice always makes sense to us at the moment.
But here's an essential piece of advice to understand when it is talking. How do you feel? The inner critic is talking if you feel anxious and afraid, if you feel uneasy, filled with doubt during the thought process, then your inner critic is carrying on.
I can hear you laughing because you're saying to yourself, "…then my inner critic is always talking!" Not only are you ruminating on what can go wrong and remembering everything that went wrong before, but there is also no quiet space in your head to find a workable solution reflecting your true ability. When this happens, I highly recommend you lean on the tools I list in this blog.
Is It True?
Your voice of doubt has an entire list of reasons why you are a failure and will continue to fail. Jot down those things and then ask yourself, for each one, is it true? And if for some reason, some of those things on the list are true, the next question will be, is that the only truth? You'll have to compare yourself today to the child who was first bruised and distinguish between you as an adult and that wounded child. So, the question of whether it is true is about today. Not over the years of your life, but today. Is it still true?
Breathing
I am a certified Executive Leadership and Public Speaking Coach. One of the essential tools for effective public speaking is being able to control your breath to have command over a sentence. The same is true in life. Moving beyond shallow breathing will give you more control over your emotions and responses. For example, taking a deep breath will diffuse a lot of anxiety. You will feel lighter when you take a deep breath and let it out. It is not your imagination. You are becoming calmer. Mental health professionals and yoga instructors recommend deep breaths to relax your nervous system and improve your ability to focus.
Taking time every day to take deep breaths will help alleviate anxiety and doubt and give you the support needed to manage stress and even get better sleep.
Meditation
Who has time for meditation? You wake up in the morning and have to check your e-mail and voicemail. There isn't even enough time to get to the gym every morning, which is what you have always wanted to do. And now this coach is telling you to meditate for 5 to 15 minutes every morning? Who has time for that? Well, you do. You must. We wake with our minds racing through the day and the week. We start at 7 am, stressed about the 4 pm meeting. The office and home to-do lists run through our minds at a breakneck pace.
To have any chance to get a hold of the day and cease the struggle against quieting the inner critic, we have to grab hold of our minds at first light. Meditation is an ancient art that was meant to help deepen one's understanding of a higher self. Today’s practice is commonly used for focus, relaxation, and stress reduction.
Modern medicine has defined meditation as a complementary mind-body form of treatment that has been proven to produce a tranquil mind. During meditation, even the 5-minute ones, you can eliminate the jumbled thoughts crowding your mind and causing so much stress. So why not start your day in a peaceful state?
I encourage my clients to download a free app called Insight Timer. It has thousands of meditations that last from 2 minutes to 2 hours. I use it daily, as do my clients, with excellent results.
The Power of Your Written Word
I have learned that journaling is good for mental health and stability. I ask my coaching clients to have a dedicated notebook for our sessions. During the sessions, I ask them to write down their negative thoughts and then write a response. They are also invited to list their goals and how they are grateful for what they have. After several sessions, I encourage them to read the journal for review and clarity.
According to an article entitled, Journaling for Mental Health published by the University of Rochester Medical Center, "Journaling helps control your symptoms and improve your mood by helping you prioritize problems, fears, and concerns. By tracking any symptoms daily, you can recognize triggers and learn ways to control them better. Journaling provides an opportunity for positive self-talk and identifying negative thoughts."
Keeping a journal helps stop that inner critic thought from taking hold without recognition and gives you a chance to address it directly. When you don't write these thoughts down, they do damage in the darkness of your mind, so often without you noticing until it is too late. So to cultivate your power, bring those thoughts to the light in your journal. And yes, busy people, you have 10 minutes in a day to journal!
Resumé Review
When you lose track of your accomplishments and value to the world, read your resumé as a reminder. Your resumé is like kryptonite to the inner critic. Noting your achievements will bring you pride and the strength to make your next move. If your resumé doesn't accurately reflect the breadth and depth of your accomplishments, revise it. Honor and present the value you have brought to the world, even if you weren't paid for it.
A Winning Spirit
The greatest weapon in your battle to quiet your inner critic is your determination not to fall for its shenanigans. You have to commit to your mental health and well-being, career, and family so that you are not hijacked by a small voice determined to derail you. Whether you do this inner work on your own or seek a coach, stay focused on winning. The most fabulous prize is your inner applause.
How To Become an Effective Leader
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Title tag: Weapons to Fight and Quiet Your Inner Critic